In the middle

7: Mark Brooker – FB/ RM/ CB Play-a-likey: Jason McAteer Not the sharpest of Pirates, however hard working utility man who has played every position since joining two seasons ago. Not very bright, but at home anywhere on the pitch, good footballing brain for a southerner, bit retarded.
8: Will Forsdike – CM Play-a-likey: Jamie Redknapp Club captain and consistent year on year player of the season. The Pirates playmaker and most naturally gifted player. Does have a habit of whinging at referees however is the reason why some refs ‘get out of bed on a Saturday morning’.
10: Jonno Crampton – RM/ LM Play-a-likey: Dennis Wise Joined the Pirates last season and although performed well at full-back was ‘wasted’. With his move to midfield came goals and consistency, and was one of our top performers in the season run in. Ridiculously angry little man, can go on a bit.
11: Martin ‘Bobby’ Bouchier – LM Play-a-likey: Geoff Thomas Talented midfield carthorse who will hope to make more of a contribution this season, club veteran and Worthers stockist, gets on well with the younger members of the squad and has the uncanny ability to turn any situation into a Partridge moment.
13: Dan Tingle – CM Play-a-likey: Graeme Souness 2007/2008 Players Player of the season and the Pirates 1st Mate, The bow legged Coach Klein is a pivotal member of the side with his tenacious tackling and box to box midfield displays. Bit mardy though.
18: Rich Dale – LM/ RM/ CM Play-a-likey: Michael Brown Utility man with an 'interesting' challenge... have particularly enjoyed his verbal contribution towards opposing defenders who have given away penalties. Also has an amazing nack of moving slightly off the ball (while running with it) and 'arse-ing' people off balance.
19: Justin Pressley – CB/ CM Play-a-likey: John O’Shea New addition to the Pirates, solid hard working central midfielder or centre back who will bring strength and competition to the crew. Is slowly becoming his dad, but quickly losing his hair.

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